Shefali Shah on womanhood, ageing and becoming an author: "The evolution of a woman is about growing into her own skin"

When Shefali Shah; the Bollywood actress best known for Delhi Crime, Dil Dhadakne Do and Darlings, announced that she was penning her memoir, it came as no surprise, really. Shah has long confessed to hoarding books and disappearing into their words when she needed an escape, all using her candid captions that veer from poetic paragraphs to keen observations. So for Shah to add author to her career graph seemed like the most natural progression. Her debut book, titled The Audacity Of Being, takes a stab at unravelling this very audacious spirit which was responsible for taking chances like no one else has. Even her plum choice of acting roles were never the most conventional ones; whether that meant she played a free-thinker in Monsoon Wedding or a ruthless neurosurgeon in Human. In this conversation with HELLO! India's Associate Editor Dayle Pereira-Alemao, Shefali Shah opens up about womanhood, ageing and finding confidence in every stage that arrives, plus a whole lot more.

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HELLO! India: What prompted the shift from actress to author?

Shefali Shah: I haven't shifted from being an actor to an author; I'm doing it simultaneously. I do it because I really enjoy writing. I have been writing a blog and sharing things on my Instagram, and they've been appreciated a lot. In fact, I've received so much encouragement from people who read my work and have said that I should write more and write a book. I honestly did it because I really enjoy it, and I thought I could give it a try. As I started writing, I received appreciation from my publisher, who thought it was worth putting out there.

HELLO! India: How vulnerable did you have to be with yourself to write this book?

Shefali Shah: According to me, why write a memoir if you can't be honest? One thing I was very sure about, as far as this book is concerned, or even when I perform or just about anything in real life, is that whether it's good, bad or ugly, it has to be honest. There is no replacement for being authentic. Once I decided to write this book, there was no turning back. I did make a choice about what I wanted to put in the book and what I didn't, but once I had settled on the chapters, I had to give it everything I had.

HELLO! India: How has your understanding of womanhood evolved as you've moved through different stages of your life?

Shefali Shah: I think the evolution of a woman is about growing into her own skin, making her own space, and being felt and heard by herself. Because whether anyone else does it or not, you have to be honest with yourself and care for yourself. It is also about choosing the battles you want to fight. Every situation is not worth fighting over; it's not worth your breath. It's not about proving what is right or wrong; it is about figuring out what you are comfortable with and asking for it. And if you don't get it, finding it yourself. There is no instruction booklet or manual that tells you what evolution should mean for a woman. Every woman has a different path she wants to follow, different needs and different ideas of growing into the person she wants to be. Only she can pave that path and figure out the way or method through which she is going to reach a place where she feels truly comfortable.

HELLO! India: How has your relationship with ageing changed over the years?

Shefali Shah: When you're younger, you think you have all the time in the world. Once you reach a certain point in your life, or many years have passed, you start questioning what you've done and where you've lost all that time. So, honestly, the realisation of ageing comes much later in life. It didn't come to me when I was 20, 30 or even 40. I mean, what is my relationship with ageing? What is anyone's relationship with ageing? We have to accept it; we don't have an option.

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HELLO! India: What is one thing you no longer feel the need to explain about yourself?

Shefali Shah: I don't really explain myself in advance before I do something. I do it, and then, if somebody wants to ask me questions, I shall answer them. Will I sit and try to justify it? Well, maybe up to a point, but then I eventually just state that I wanted to do it, so I did it. As long as I'm not hurting anyone, stepping on anyone's toes, speaking on their behalf or making decisions on their behalf, I feel I can make decisions for myself and don't really need to justify them, unless I've done something truly terrible, which I haven't.

HELLO! India: What has getting older given you that your younger self didn't have?

Shefali Shah: It has given me the clarity to choose the battles I want to fight. It has given me the clarity to live and let live, and I think these are wonderful principles to follow.

HELLO! India: Did writing the book reveal anything about yourself that you hadn't previously acknowledged?

Shefali Shah: It made me realise that I can move on from things very easily, that I'm not stuck in a time warp, and that whatever happened years ago, I don't feel as strongly about it today, unless, of course, it's about loving the people you love or caring for them. The decisions I've taken, personally or professionally, were made at that point in time, and I made them because I thought they were right. There are very few things I regret, and honestly, there are very few things I want to revisit. I just feel, what's the point of going over something, good or bad, that happened years ago? That time has passed. So move on and get some new experiences instead!

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